| March 29, 2000 | Scour=Seinfeld 90210 |
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I really *am* living inside a cartoon, or perhaps some twisted-micro-topic-dissecting Seinfeldian sitcom. Yesterday at the office (i.e. Scour.com in the 90210), Camille was telling me about her bizarre mayonnaise phobias (brought on by working at a sandwhich shop with a woman who licked the spoon while transferring a large vat of said oily-eggy substance into smaller containers) while we were snacking in our office's kitchen (which like kitchens at most decent start-up companies is always well-stocked with Pop Tarts, Red Vines, Kit Kats -- I couldn't find a website for Kit Kats, but I did find The Kit Kat Ranch, a bordello in Nevada, Corn Nuts, M&Ms, Pretzels, assorted sodas, and Perrier), when Kris wandered in. Overhearing our conversation, she said, "You think that's gross? You wanna her something really gross?" and then proceeded to tell us about the "universal sponge." According to Kris, one of her girlfriends is married to a guy who used to do something very dubious in his bachelor days. When this friend of Kris's was first dating this guy, she discovered that he would use a sponge to clean his toilet, and then use that very same sponge to wash dishes. It was his "universal sponge." Camille and I were shocked and repulsed. Caroline (who was photocopying in the vicinity) could not believe it either. The way we see it, sponges can make a progressive one-way transition through household tasks (for instance, you can use a sponge to wash dishes for a week or so and then when it gets older it can be used for cleaning counter tops or the sink and then when its even older, it can be used to clean in the bathroom), BUT once a sponge is used for something other than dishwashing, it CANNOT make the move back to being a dishwashing sponge. There need to be some lines drawn. You should not have a "universal sponge." Apparently, this guy has learned the error of his ways and now subscribes to the separatist transitional theory of sponge usage. In any case, I'm just glad I never ate dinner at his house. Later in the evening, I was eating take out vegetarian in the conference room with the rest of the web development team, when it came up that I had gone to school at Vassar (that kind of stuff always comes up -- that's precisely why people go to sorta pretentious-y schools like Vassar in the first place) and Ilya, one of our site's founding engineers, said, "Oh. You went to Vassar? I know some people who went to Vassar." "Were they guys or girls?" I asked. (A fairly reasonable question.) "I'm not sure," he responded. "You don't know your friends' genders?!?" I started cracking up. He explained that he couldn't remember which of his friends went to Vassar, and therefore since he didn't know which friends were the ones, he wasn't sure of the genders. I guess it makes sense. Sort of. From there, we heartily launched into the topic of whether robots had genders. We all agreed that we naturally assumed that R2-D2 and C-3PO (sci-fi savants the web engineers immediately announced they were played by Kenny Baker and Anthony Daniels) were male, although R2's gender is left somewhat ambiguous. Out of nowhere, John insisted that Moffit the Daggit from BattleStar Galactica was played by a monkey. Nobody else believed him. "That's an urban legend. Moffit was just a puppet," Shac said. So, we pulled up the Internet Movie Database on the overhead projector, and did a search for Battlestar Galactica, and found that Moffit wasn't listed. That didn't solve any of our problems. "Does the IMDB not list animal actors?" I wondered, appalled at this unfair treatment. Sure enough, we looked up Lassie, and there wasn't even a mention of the series' star. Then we returned to our Daggit debate, and after some dedicated searching on John's part, we found The Battlestar Galactica episode guide which tells that Moffit the Daggit is played by "Evie the chimp." Score one for John. Labels: camille, la, losangeles, scour, vassar, web posted by Jess Barron @ 4:55 PM 
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