POPROCKS.COM
The online home of Jess Barron

Web content and community expert, writer, editor, blogger, and internet video producer.
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In 2004, a guy who I don't know named Jeremy Abbate saw my website and wrote a song called "I Wanna Be As Cool As Jessica Barron." It still amuses me. Here's the mp3 and here are the lyrics.

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See how this site looked in 1998
Poprocks.com screenshot from early 1998
and how the place looked in 2000.
Poprocks.com from June 2000
Yahoo counted me as a "cool person" from 1997-2001. How far have I fallen?!
Yahoo counted me among the "Cool People" in 1997-1998.
The internets have come a long way, baby...

December 3, 2004 Lyrics to "Cool as Jessica Barron"
As evidence that my life is like living inside a cartoon -- I submit to you the lyrics to an mp3 that was emailed to me somewhat mysteriously by a stranger in November. The song is actually not too bad, and the lyrics are smart, semi-disdainful but not as scathing as they probably could be. I'm not mad about it. Should I be?

You know that I'm totally gonna play this on my radio show... How could I resist? According to the info attached to the mp3 it was written/performed by Jeremy Abbate who may be the same guy who wrote this piece for McSweeney's. I love how Googling can make anyone an amateur detective. Kinda like how the internet and computers and digital tools enable all of us to be publishers, editors, writers, DJs, photographers, videographers, and musicians distributing our songs around the world.

Seriously, check this song out. It amuses me greatly.

Cool as Jessica Barron
written and performed by Jeremy Abbate

I wanna be as cool as Jessica Barron
Please let me be as cool as Jessica Barron
She's a media philosopher
She's an irony diva in a post-post world
She's an artist and a critic and a poet too
And you can bet her friends are cooler than you

And she's travelled everywhere from here to East Jebip
and she keeps a photo diary of everything hip
Oh she's witty and she's clever and she's very sublime
She's on the inside and the outside at the very same time.

She muses on the simple things and finds so much depth
She lives life and she mocks life -- all in the same breath.

I wanna be as cool as Jessica Barron
Please let be as cool as Jessica Barron

She's Mary McCarthy meets Betty Paige
The Zelda Fitzgerald of the techno age
Virgina Woolf as Billie Holiday
A love child of Marilyn and Hemingway

And there isn't any subject that is too taboo
Deconstructing cheap pornography or Winnie-The-Poo
Her inner self is sprawled across the bathroom walls
Her private sanctuary is a shopping mall

If just for a minute I could stand inside her shoes --
Would the cocktail party carousel chase away my blues?

I wanna live my life in public and share every thought
with a generation starving for what they've been taught.
Warhol said we'd get a quarter hour
But Jessica's embraced her media power
Nothing is sacred and everything is deep
The soap commercial theme song makes the poet in her weep

I wanna be as cool as Jessica Barron
Please let me be as cool as Jessica Barron
I wanna be as cool as Jessica Batton
Please let me be so cool like Jessica Barron

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posted by Jess Barron @ 8:49 PM