Dangerous Candy
she's precocious

...But then again, she's weird, and she knows a lot of bad people.


"I want to be
the girl with
the most URLs."

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who?

Jess Barron
Los Angeles, California

I do web stuff

thoughts on the past and future of online journalism

Does Online Journalism Have a Future? -- share your thoughts

e a r c a n d y :

1. A guy who I don't know named Jeremy Abbate saw my website and wrote a song called "I Wanna Be As Cool As Jessica Barron". Another person in New York emailed the MP3 to me in Nov. 2004. The narcissist in me loves the lyrics and the song itself is pretty darn catchy. Don't you think?

2. In 2005 I had a weekly radio show on Pirate Cat Radio 87.9 FM in San Francisco from 6-8p.m. on Friday nights. You can listen online from anywhere in the world. Or just check out our podcast.

3. Also, listen to my LAUNCHcast station

Be my friendster?

  • The Phoenix from the Flames...
  • "Little surprises around every corner, but nothing...
  • Da Governator Vs. Da Protestors
  • Awakened to London Blasts
  • It's Allyson's Birthday. Pay Her a Visit!
  • "There's Something I've been Meaning to Tell You.....
  • We're in a pickle, a Podcastpickle
  • Make way for ducklings on Yahoo! Campus
  • "These are some giant pants..."
  • "We're Sexy F#cking Outlaws"
  • New Year's Eve 2005 pics

    Mici's pics from the Pirate Cat Party (12/04/04)

    Los Angeles (11/27/04)

    2004 U.S. Presidential Election (inside Yahoo! newsroom) (11/02/04)

    London (11/15/04)

    Allyson's photos from our London trip (11/22/04)

    Halloween 2004

    Oregon beach house weekend for Esther's birthday (10/22/04)

    Simone and David's wedding at Fairytale Land in Oakland(08/01/04)

    Owen's 30th birthday (05/01/04)

    Mirror Project Gallery, "The Make-up Mirror"

    Daniel's birthday suprise party (04/23/04)

    live band karaoke at El Rio (04/10/04)

    August's closing party at Ebb Tide(02/27/04)

    valentine's day weekend in NYC(02/16/04)

    nice day, new convertible(02/08/04)

    nostalgia for the present (02/02/04)

    my 30th birthday(01/04)

    August's art opening at Ebb Tide (01/03/04)

    Jeff's 30th birthday (12/20/03)

    pics from Yahoo Holiday Party 2003 with The Flaming Lips (12/12/03)

    Nathan's band, the cables(11/15/03)

    pics from Burning Man 2003(09/03)

    photos from Burning Man 2002 (09/17/02)

    pics from Allyson's wedding(09/03)

    Cali Convertible Adventures with Nemesis(ter)(07/03)

    Allyson's bachelorette party(07/04/03)

    Dogpatch Sunrise - There are some visual benefits to waking up at 6a.m. when you live by the San Francisco Bay. (04/11/03)

    Kicking it with Frank the KJ (04/05/03)

    Bad Pioneer weekend - riding horses in Hollywood and swimming with dolphins in Malibu (02/14/03)

    Dat Ass - hip-hop and ghetto tech party, SF, CA (01/25/03)

    Jeno spins at House Plant - Oakland, CA (01/17/03)

    Halloween Costumes at Yahoo! and in the Castro (10/31/02)

    pics from Portland (10/26/03)

    the story I told at Fray Day 6 in SF (09/23/02)

    What is YOUR Anti-Drug? (09/16/02)

    ugly kids (08/19/02)

    Save poprocks.com

    Picking Blackberries (07/12/02)

    she said, she said (06/28/02)

    The Phoenix Festival (07/10/02)

    Photos from my SXSW road-trip (05/01/02)

    off-site:
    Esther

    Allyson

    Lana

    Mary

    Jen

    Leanne

    Fruitcake Brigade

    Sarah

    re-runs:

    love letter to los angeles (11/09/01)

    pics from Scuba with Migual Migs (08/11/01)

    robots and warehouses in my SF neighborhood (06/19/01)

    My pics from Burning Man 2001

    My pics from Burning Man 2000

    My journal from Burning Man '99

    Meeting Monica Lewinsky (11/15/99)

    What was Diane Sawyer really like? (11/17/95)

    Turkish Delights (09/08/95)

    The Scatman in Greece's Modern Ruins (08/26/95)

    Caught in a Mosh (10/94)

    Montreal Stripped Down (08/01/94)

    sophomore year spring break in Russia (04/08/94)

    conversationskill: a real life mellow-drama of Vassar students abroad in Russia (04/08/94)

    pics from the Russia trip (04/08/94)

    sophomore year road-trip to Mardi Gras (02/12/94)

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    Take a Bite of Me:
    8.03.2005
    I'm very worried about dragons...

    "Sleeping is giving in, no matter what the time is.
    Sleeping is giving in, so lift those heavy eyelids.
    People say that you'll die, faster than without water,
    but we know it's just a lie, scare your son, scare your daughter.

    People say that your dreams are the only things that save ya.
    Come on baby in our dreams, we can live on misbehavior."

    -The Arcade Fire, "Rebellion (Lies)"

    esther, april, and me August, Bocce and I road-tripped with Andy in his Element that was filled to the top with camping gear, food and supplies from San Francisco up to Klickitat, Washington. We left my house in SF at 7a.m. and after an entire day of driving, arrived at Esther and Jason's camp around 10p.m. that night.

    We promptly unpacked the Nutria Republic flag I had brought and hung it up. Then we opened some beers. Or maybe we opened the beers first. I can't remember now.

    "Oh my god, Jessica! There's giant bugs everywhere!" Esther said. "And we keep seeing them in the tents!"

    "Aggh! What kind of bugs?" I squealed. "I've never really camped where there are bugs before!" (Plus, I'm scared of bugs.)

    "Giant beetles and these things that look like giant roaches!" Esther said. "Also, ants! Part of the shade structure is on an enormous ant hill. We didn't realize that until after we had picked this spot. Also, when we were building it, we realized that we are on a lava flow and it was impossible to pound in the rebar."

    The terrain was definitely more apocalyptic than the sites of the 2 past Phoenix festivals I had been to. Though we couldn't see it too well in the dark, the land had been burned in a forest fire about 10 years earlier. There were dead trees with knarled branches like the fingers of the world's oldest woman all around. I decided immediately that the Black Rock Desert in Nevada (where Burning Man is held each year) was a much more hospitable place to camp.

    Our friends Phil and Lori who helped organize the festival stopped by to say hi.

    "We were talking to the fire crew," Phil said. "And if one person drops a cigarette on the ground -- all this dry straw grass will go up in flames and we're all gonna die. Seriously. There is only one road in and out of this place. And they said the fire moves like 10 feet per second. There's no way we could outrun it. And we'd never get these cars out in time on that road."

    It seemed true. The road in to the campsite wasn't paved and was too bumpy and rocky to drive more than 5 miles per hour, even in the sporty Element. I was glad we hadn't driven my lowriding Volkswagen Beetle.

    It was too late to pitch tents, and too rocky anyway, and also we were too tired, so we all drank until we fell asleep on the floor of the shade structure. I didn't sleep well, because I was too worried about the giant bugs we had seen crawling through the shade structure while we were drinking, and then in the middle of the night it started pouring rain and thundering. The shade structure kept most of us dry, except Wink who was sleeping underneath the connection between the two tarps.

    The next day Esther set up the Nutria Interpretive Center (which I called the "Nutria Re-Education Camp"), and I distracted myself by reading about nutria and then asking everyone to contemplate the many mysteries of their species, for example, "Just how frenzied *is* their copulation, I ask you?"

    For the next two days we played music, played more music, played more music, and played even more music, danced to music, ran around in the rocky hills and field, and got very, very worried when we encountered a pair of sneaky blacklight dragons lurking near what we thought was a cool-looking stage.

    "This stage looks really cool!" said Andy, as we approached a place with flowy colorful lights. When we got closer -- they popped up outta nowhere: a pair of day-glow painted dragons, making the moment at once completely dorky and completely hysterical. Thankfully, we didn't encounter many fabric batiks or blacklight posters of bare breasted alien women. As anyone that's ever been to an all-night trance party knows, this is a serious concern. But in this case, we were able to focus our worry on the dragons. We became Dragon Worriers (inspired by an Amber chatlog). And we laughed so hard that we cried.

    "Do you worry a lot?"
    "Dragons are a very real worry in this day and age!"
    "Too many people are concerned about dragons."
    "California is very dangerous."
    etc. etc.

    We realized that everyone knows that dragons *love* rainbows, and that nutria do not. Also, we vowed to avoid typing in the dark. We didn't sleep much at all, except sometimes on the floor of the shade structure in the afternoon.

    The other main psytrance stage didn't have any dragons (nor fabric batiks or blacklight alien posters, thankfully), but at 2a.m. it looked and felt exactly like a setting from the Sony Playstation game Karaoke Revolution. The purple and pink colors felt like they were straight from a video game. The crowd around the stage and the lights felt like they were straight from a video game. But, perhaps most of all, the speaker dancers (or "speaker bitches," as we called them) were 100% straight from a video game. They were not real; they were made out of pixels. That could be the *only* explanation for how they looked. How else could her nipples have been quite so perky? How else could his jaw -- and scowl -- have been quite so chisled? There really was no other explanation.

    In addition to our ongoing -- and increasingly frenzied -- worries about dragons, we learned about the Free Cascadia movement, where Oregon and Washington want to succeed from the United States and bring Northern California with them. Man, the people of the Pacific Northwest have some crazy stuff going on... Like dragons and nutria. It's like the freakin' "land before time" up there or somethin' with all these mythical creatures roaming around. You don't need to be worried about nutria; just worry about dragons and everything else will be OK, I promise.


    She certainly has some crazy mixed-up: