PoprocksDotCom, the blog of Jess Barron

February 23, 2009

Elizabeth and Stephen Got Married

Chris' sister Elizabeth married Stephen Piccone on Feb 21, 2009 at the Chart House in Scottsdale, Arizona. Despite the fact that the make-up artist might've been on meth (the gal was completely unfocused, shaking, talking way too fast, incapable of styling hair as promised and kept running into the bathroom), Elizabeth looked gorgeous. Her daughter Zoe was the flower girl. I was the Maid of Honor. Chris was the DJ. The harp-est was wonderful, the geese were well-behaved, and the location was perfect. Excellent job, Strimbu clan!

Labels: chris, elizabeth, strimbus, wedding

posted by Jess Barron @ 9:03 PM

September 27, 2005

Toasted (and Slightly Roasted)

I'm back from Vail. Ellen's wedding was fabulous. Also, I'm here to report that despite its harsh reputation, being a bridesmaid isn't actually that bad. I think the key was that rather than forcing us to don seafoam green dupioni silk, Ellen told us we could wear any black dresses that we wanted to. It's crazy that brides used to force their friends to all squeeze into the same backless mint green taffeta monstrosity. Not one of the brides at the weddings I have been to this season have committed this terrible sin on their friends' bodies (not Jen, not Selena, and not Ellen). This is because my friends have style and common sense, and also they are not sadists.

Wearing various Little Black Dresses (mine was a vintage 1960s sheath which I accessorized with gold shoes and Monica Lewinsky hair), Ellen's bridesmaids partied like rock stars all night long, especially Cat.

It was great to hangout with Jeff and Daniel. And even though Brandon, August and Daniel wouldn't dance, Jeff and I went crazy on the dancefloor to many, many songs including "It Takes Two" by Rob Bass, "Groove is in the Heart" by Dee-Lite, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers. After a few drinks, I successfully (I think) encouraged Jeff to touch the bride's lower back which was seductively exposed by her gorgeous gown. Ooh la la.

On the evening of the rehearsal dinner -- I wanted to give a toast to Ellen and Jarrod, since I was one of Ellen's oldest friends (I've known her since second grade), but I was worried that I wouldn't be able to come up with any Ellen-related anecdotes that were clean/innocent enough for Ellen and Jarrod's parents to hear during the rehearsal dinner. After an hour spent drinking vodka and sodas in the hotel bar and scribbling on cocktail napkins and Vail Cascade Resort & Spa-branded stationary here's what I came up with:

I met Ellen when we were in second grade in Mrs. Marson's class in Southboro, Massachusetts. Out of the whole second grade class, Ellen had the best stuffed animal collection. Not only did she have the most stuffed animals, but they had the most interesting names -- from her giant Zebra named Monaco to her giant pillow-sized fluffy red Main Lobster named Bisque. Ellen also had the best sticker collection.

Ellen and I became close friends during our sophomore year in high school. Due to her birthday being in October, Ellen was one of the youngest people in our class. This annoyed her more than you can imagine, and she would loudly and vocally lament, "I am *never* gonna get my license!!!" at any opportunity.

Luckily, Jeff Dunlap (who is also here tonight) and I were two of the oldest in the class, so we got our licenses at the end of sophomore year. Ellen, Jeff, and I went to so many concerts together that year -- from the B52s and the Cure to The Pixies and U2 -- we saw all of our favorite bands.

Eventually, Ellen *did* get her license and one of her family members gave her a big white Buick. We went everywhere in that car while listening to mix tapes with songs by The Smiths and The Cure. Well, mostly we went to Houlihan's or Pizzaria Uno or the suburban-sprawl of Natick Mall. Sometimes we went to Harvard Square in Cambridge where we ate sweet cheese croissants and drank cappuccinos at Au Bon Pain. We felt like we were soooo sophisticated.

By junior year in high school, we were taking weekend trips to Cape Cod and up to Montreal for... ummmm... skiing. I'm certain that we behaved well on these trips across the Canadian border and that we didn't drink any drinks with flaming Sambuca. Or if we did at least we knew enough to blow out the flames on the Sambuca and not burn our eyelashes and upper lip as some of our other classmates might have. Not that I'd ever name any names...

Ellen was always the one in our class who would have issues of "Cosmo" magazine tucked into her bookbag that she would pass around on the bus. These contained saucy articles instructing us on how to kiss and what to look for in a man. Ellen had read so many of these articles that she was our resident expert. I would always go to her for advice on dating, clothing, and fashion.

Anytime you went *anywhere* with Ellen -- even to CVS or Walgreen's -- she was bound to crack everyone up. She has an incredible sense of humor.

Not only is Ellen funny, but she's intelligent and witty. We would collaborate on articles together for our high school newspaper -- The Harbinger -- and I've never laughed so hard writing anyone else with anyone to this day.

Ellen also knows how to party. While I was at Vassar in New York, and she was at Kenyon College (in Ohio!), Ellen drove out for a few days to visit me, and she brought a funnel. Now, my friends at Vassar and I had never seen a funnel before. Ellen patiently explained about the funnel and showed us how to pour beer into it. She didn't even laugh (too hard) when most of us (me especially) were unable to swallow even one beer with the assistance/insistence of said funnel. That night Ellen drank all my friends under the table -- even the guys -- and she didn't even throw-up.

So, Ellen is a connoisseur of fine stuffed animals and stickers, and a smart, stylish, funny, witty and cultured gal. A smart, stylish, witty and cultured gal who can drink all of us under the table without batting an eyelash.

I met Jarrod in 2002 when he and Ellen came out to visit San Francisco and stayed with me for a few days. What was great about meeting Jarrod was -- not only was he a cute, smart guy -- but he appreciated Ellen for all the right reasons: her intelligence, her wit, her scathing sense of humor, and her fondness for animals -- both plush and alive -- and her ability to drink Irish Car Bombs and funnel beers without getting sloppy drunk. So, now I'd like to ask you to raise your glasses and toast with me to Ellen and Jarrod and the great love that they have found. I wish them much happiness together!

On Sunday morning, after our late night of crazy partying at her wedding, I asked Ellen what it felt like to be married.

"Well, I have a helluva headache," she said, without missing a beat.

I love this gal.

Labels: ellen, highschool, jeff, speaking, toast, travel, vail, wedding

posted by Jess Barron @ 8:30 PM

September 22, 2005

This Altitude is Making Me Drunk

I drove up from Denver to Vail this afternoon. The drive through the mountains was beautiful; some of the leaves were changing to yellow as I drove 120 miles up and up. The only problem was that zero FM radio stations came in after I left Denver, and my rental car (a Toyota Solara convertible) was not equipped with Sirius satellite radio. But even though I didn't have good music, I saw bighorn sheep grazing right near the side of the highway. It was insane!

Vail is 8,150 feet above sea level, and this evening out in a few bars with Brooke, Cat, Ellen, and Jarrod I only had two margaritas and two beers and now I'm totally loaded. The altitude is messing with me. San Francisco is pretty much at sea level, and every time I stay somewhere at a high altitude it seems to take me 48 hours to acclimate. Same thing happens to me at Burning Man. So I've had only four drinks, and I'm drunk. And I'm on the internet in my room. This could really be a problem.

According to the internets, there is half the amount of oxygen in Vail (8,150 feet) as there is in San Francisco (sea level). According to the internets, I need to drink lots of water to avoid altitude sickness.

Jeff and Daniel arrive from New York tomorrow. I'm totally challenging them to a shot contest. By then, I should be almost acclimated.

Have you ever had altitude sickness? Or, do you have any drinking tips for me? Please share.

Labels: drinking, ellen, jeff, travel, vail, wedding

posted by Jess Barron @ 11:16 PM

Off to Vail

Here are some photos from Selena's wedding up in Portland last weekend. Right now, I'm headed to SFO to fly to Vail for Ellen's wedding. Well, I'm flying to Denver, renting a car and driving up to Vail, but that's just too many words. This time, I'm a bridesmaid. (It's my first stint at this, so wish me luck.)

Labels: bridesmaid, ellen, photos, selena, travel, vail, wedding

posted by Jess Barron @ 9:43 AM

September 17, 2005

Off to Portland

This morning I'm off to SFO to fly to Portland for Selena's wedding. The wedding is Sunday, and I'll be back in SF Monday night.

Labels: flying, portland, travel, wedding

posted by Jess Barron @ 6:05 AM

August 17, 2005

Brides, Bachelorettes, and my Scorching Hot Social Calendar

Forgive me, dear reader. I've been kept away from the blog-a-log internets by my scorching hot social calendar, which had me driving to Tahoe to get gussied up in pretty party clothes with August, Owen, and Bethany to attend Jen and Deneb's wedding. Their wedding was up on a mountain, and we had to take a scary cable car to get up there. And I'm afraid of heights. But we somehow survived. And Jen looked beautiful, and Deneb rocked out. And August, Bethany, Owen and I sat at a table of 8 with Kurt Loder. Yes, *the* Kurt Loder from MTV and Rolling Stone. I was really excited to talk to him, but he didn't want to talk to us very much. Maybe we're really, really obnoxious? Or maybe he's just really, really shy? (He did seem to enjoy August's conversation about '60s one-hit pop bands he loves like Herman and the Hermits.)

On the way back from Tahoe, I took August to Sonoma to celebrate his 29th birthday and getting accepted into the 39th ranked Law School in the country (U.C. Hastings). Yay! I celebrated with him so hard and at so many wineries that I ended up throwing up. Not just once, but many times. And I was the only licensed driver out of the two of us, so we were stuck and had to spend an additional night in wine country and then wake up at 5:45a.m. to drive back to S.F. to pick up my velvety fruitbat of a dog from the kennel and then drive down to Sunnyvale to make a 9a.m. meeting.

I guess I should be thankful I didn't throw up at the wedding.

Then I worked really hard for three days, and did the radio show, and flew to Denver for approximately 28 hours for my friend Ellen's bachelorette party.

This weekend, I hafta do all of my Burning Man packing and preparing, and then the following weekend I leave for the playa for 9 days.

When I return from the playa, it will be September. I will have one weekend to unpack and clean up my stuff, and then I will be flying out to Vail, CO for Ellen's wedding which I'll be a bridesmaid in. The next weekend I'll fly up up to Portland for Selena's wedding.

Monkey and Mici just decided to elope next weekend because she's too busy with Law School to handle taking time out for their October Marin wedding.

In October, I'll make 2-3 weekend trips down to Los Angeles to (hopefully) find myself a new home down there (I plan to move to LA on November 1), and then I'll fly to New York for the ONA conference for that last weekend of October. Then I'll start moving.

Basically, my entire life is scheduled through November 1. My head is spinning and I have a lotta plane tickets and hotel reservations.

Does everyone else have a lot going on too for August, September, October? Or is it just me?

Labels: august, bethany, owen, photos, tahoe, travel, wedding, wine

posted by Jess Barron @ 12:48 AM